Hearing Voices in My Head

By Tina Erwin

I’m hearing voices in my head as I’m clinging for dear life to the seat in front of me. I’m hoping that I won’t be thrown out of the Jeep as it careens down the side of the Andes Mountain we are descending. I can see the lights of the Colombian city of Medellin below as the Jeep takes wider and wider swings around each curve. We must be at least 7,000 feet up and the drunk driver of this Jeep doesn’t seem to notice that we are all about to die.

Thoughts race through my head. What was I thinking, taking this college traineeship teaching English in South America? The family I am living with is great, but I had no idea what terrors would await me when they said that they wanted to show me El Peñón de Guatapé. El Peñón (as they causally called it,) is an embarrassingly giant (650’ tall) phallic looking, purple rock in the middle of nowhere high in the Andes Mountains (7,005 feet above sea level) up an endlessly winding barely paved road. We never did go to the rock. Instead, four out of the five men on the trip drank for hours at a cantina while one of the sisters from the family I was living with, and I watched, sitting at the outdoor cafe and shivering in the drearily falling, icy rain.

“When will this be over? Why did I come? It’s getting dark and we have to go back down that mind-bogglingly dangerous road. At least my boyfriend Xavier isn’t drinking.”

         Finally, we eat a tasteless dinner and the men, laughing and joking decide that now that it is pitch black, we should head back into the city of Medellin. By now, I’m chilled to the bone, tired and terrified. The very drunk owner of the Jeep gets into the drivers seat and puts the Jeep in gear. I asked my boyfriend, Xavier if Juan should be driving. He assured me that even though he had been drinking, he was used to the roads and was a good driver. Why didn’t this make me feel better?

We started the descent. At first I thought that we were driving a little oddly because there was so much mud on the road due to the endless drizzle. But we left muddy road and went to more of a half gravel, half broken pavement kind of primitive road with no guardrails. My anxiety began to rocket.

What was this terror that was building inside me? Finally, each endless curve seemed to be more alarming than the last. Fear griped my throat as my words were frozen in fear. At any second we won’t make that next curve and I can feel that we will suddenly sail out over the mountains at the very next curve: we fall to our deaths on the unforgiving mountains below us. I felt almost hypnotized by my plight and at the same time I was beyond frantic.

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one. Suddenly I can hear this voice in my head begin to scream at me over and over.

“Tina, tell them to STOP THE JEEP. Get a grip! Start yelling to them to stop the Jeep RIGHT NOW. You aren’t supposed to die here, you have so much more to do. Do something NOW!”

“Stop the Jeep!” I screamed in Spanish. “Stop the Jeep Right Now!”

         There were seven of us in that Jeep. And to my astonishment, the drunken driver stopped the Jeep immediately (on a blind curve), and we all got out and walked around the vehicle. The back right tire was completely flat. I burst into tears and sobbed into Xavier’s shoulder. The men changed the tire. Xavier drove us back into the city with me beside him, quietly crying all the way home. The car drove just fine after that. The family I was living with hailed me as a hero and claimed that I saved everyone’s lives. They thought that I was some type of psychic to have known about that tire.

But it wasn’t me who saved them: it was that incredible voice screaming in my head. I believe that it was an angel looking out for me.

         We’re all hearing voices in our heads.

We’ve all, at one time or another had the experience where we could have sworn that someone or something was advising us to do something, take some action or stop what we were doing.

Mozart was compelled to compose the music that is so profound that listening to it alone can raise your frequency. He had no choice, he had to write it down. He didn’t struggle with what to write, he was some other being’s vehicle for introducing this powerful music to the world.

Consider Neale Donald Walsch* and his prolific Conversations with God books. This author hears God talk to him. And apparently millions of people completely believe him because his books have all been best sellers. His message of love and peace resonate with people all over the world. What or who is he actually hearing? Is this his imagination, or is he truly hearing the voice of God?

Other people such as Nicola Tesla were compelled to change the world in completely positive ways, like inventing alternating current, which is the electricity we use today.

Some people are compelled to create. They have no choice, it is as if someone else, some other being is driving them to create, or invent, or write. Others are hearing voices too, but those chilling voices are telling them to kill another person.

People take the actions that these voices are telling them to do. What are these voices so many people are hearing? On a television episode of a show about aliens from ancient times, there is the discussion that we may have beings attached to us who help to guide us to various pathways. Do we have free will or are we puppets of some other force?

When another person takes the path down the dark side of life, some of them say that cannot resist that hideous voice in their heads that tells them they are worthless, terrible or deadly. Consider Son of Sam killer David Berkowitz** (see link below.) He claimed that his neighbor’s dog told him to kill people. At his trial, he pleaded insanity, saying that demonic voices in his head told him to do all the horrible things he did to people. He claimed that they also told him to set 1488 fires. What or who were those voices?

If someone hears a voice telling them to create a masterwork, or invent something that will change the world, we call them genius.

If someone else hears a voice telling them to kill someone, set fires or bomb someone or something, we call them insane. Obviously the difference is the end result, but are elements of the voices the same?

What causes one person to hear the voices of genius and the other destruction and murder?

         Part II will discuss the challenge of the critical difference.

* http://www.nealedonaldwalsch.com

** http://www.freeinfosociety.com/article.php?id=32